And this was an adventure of which he had dreamed from boyhood: aboard a windjammer on the South Seas. ‘Oh, dearie me, you make me feel a traitor. She killed every month, twelve a year, and was for all intents and purposes a serial killer of middle aged men. ‘I can’t do that. Courtlaw rose to his feet. Sheppard, meekly. “But why,” he said in the gasping voice of one subduing an agony, and looked at her from under a pain-wrinkled brow, “why did you not tell me this before?” “I didn’t know—I thought I might be able to control myself. When I have traversed the streets a houseless wanderer, driven with curses from every door where I have solicited alms, and with blows from every gateway where I have sought shelter,—when I have crept into some deserted building, and stretched my wearied limbs upon a bulk, in the vain hope of repose,—or, worse than all, when, frenzied with want, I have yielded to horrible temptation, and earned a meal in the only way I could earn one,—when I have felt, at times like these, my heart sink within me, I have drank of this drink, and have at once forgotten my cares, my poverty, my guilt. ’ The girl bit her lip and backed a little, while her husband shifted to stand at her side. "No, lad," said McClintock, his tone becoming kindly. Chuck had did himself in because Chuck was a flaming homosexual. And, though neither peace nor innocence can be restored to my bosom; though tears cannot blot out my offences, nor sorrow drown my shame; yet, knowing that my penitence is sincere, I do not despair that my transgressions may be forgiven. Never did I need a rescue so much.
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